Totally burned.

Once again.

When the hell am I going to catch a break?

I decided to get breakfast at 6 am. A lone lightening bolt decided to hit the building inches in front of me. You missed.



And out of this nothing will come your unborn soul

Thoughts on loneliness

A failure complex, social awkwardness, repulsion.

I keep everyone at arm's length, mostly. This appears to intrigue some. Occasionally after much observation and thought, I allow myself closer to an individual. Soon after (very soon) they become seemingly disenchanted with me, perhaps some mystery is lost? Should I assume myself to be repulsive to others when I open up to them? I fear there is nothing of value beyond whatever exterior appeal I may possess, nothing worth pursuing further knowledge or understanding of.

Trapped in a perpetual cycle of loneliness, I always feel like an outsider.
I feel deserving of appreciation, even love. I care so deeply for others and try to show it as often as possible. I see so much good in everyone, so much uniqueness in people that I want to investigate and understand. The interest is rarely reciprocated.

Memories of Sled Island on Imovane

It's that time again, took some sleeping pills and in hopes of conjuring some brilliance or epiphany during the night. My brain is now sleeping, it is dreaming. My body is still awake to guide me and allow me to document these dreams.

The past week has been one of much excitement and joy. Seeing so many people I love in one place, old friends and new. All with a common cause to enjoy (in each their own way) the 2009 Sled Island Festival

Although the fest technically did not start until Wednesday, we started early on Tuesday night at Tubby Dog featuring The Sub Linguals, SSRI, and DJ Jonathan Toubin. Sub Linguals rocked my shit as per usual, Kamil had his foot broken by a very large man who insisted on dancing as hard as he could despite his monstrous stature. I missed SSRIs getting coffee, but came back to The Dog and danced my ass off to some wicked soul jams courtesy of Dj Jonathan Toubin.

Wednesday started off early for me, hair and makeup for a Calgary Fashion Show for Factory Party #6. I was fitted with a long navy blue, Appalachian inspired dress a pair of woven leather BCBG heels and a head dress made of feather, fur and bone. The Fashion Show itself was brief and went seemingly well. Afterward we all headed back to the party, I spent the majority of the night drinking and mingling and wandering around looking at art. Later in the night after Andrew WK played I participated in a Soul Dance Contest hosted by Jonathan Toubin and Zak Pashak. Judged by members of the Monotonix. I got a fair number of votes but unfortunately lost to a girl with no pants. The party lasted well into the morning after we all relocated to Art Gallery on 17th Ave for the After Party. Sadly, that morning my car was towed shortly after making the decision that I was too drunk to drive and decided instead to park it in a very stupid place and crash at my friend's house for the night.

(More photos to come from Wednesday)

Thursday afternoon was back to Tubby Dog for Gift Eaters, Nu Sensea, Neckbeards and Friendo. Gift Eaters were awesome as usual but Nu Sensea blew my mind! Officially my favorite Vancouver band. Ate a PB&J Dog during Neckbeards and I made a giant mess, I'm sure some Sled Island Camera guy has a photo of my cramming the hotdog in my mouth with peanut butter and Captain Crunch all over my face. Missed a bit of Friendo and they had some technical difficulties but vert much enjoyed the rest of the set.

Then it was time to head off to the Legion, hoping to catch King Kahn and BBQ, The Famines and Japanther. We ran into (my hero) Nardwuar outside of the Legion and discussed a mutual friend of ours and then he posed for a picture with me and gave me a pen that takes his clothes off when you turn it to the side. T'was a magical moment. Realizing I had already missed the Famines, I ran upstairs to catch King Kahn and BBQ. The room was completely packed so I stook well near the back beside Nardwuar. The sound was amazing despite being so far away and having the room filled with so many bodies. Probably one of my favorite shows of the week.
Later on caught a bit of Anvil downstairs at the Legion, which was pretty entertaining and then headed home for the evening.

(will finish later.. much more to come)