Hello to all,

First of all I would like to thank everyone who took the time to express their gratitude and understanding. I cannot begin to explain how awful I felt knowing that I had unintentionally caused hurt to family and friends. I apologize for not being able to respond to everyone individually, this week has been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. But please know that I appreciate your strength and kindness, more than I can say in words.

After commenting on a Calgary Herald article, I was contacted by a reporter from the National Post who had googled my full name. I have never been fond of journalists, and I was reluctant to agree to an interview. On one hand, I didn't want to disrespect the girls, and their families by commenting on the event. But on the other hand, I wanted to explain what happened, to give closure to those who most likely still had a lot of questions about what had happened. Most of all, I wanted to present a clear picture of just how much of a freak accident this was, to prevent the girls from being villanized by the media.

I returned the reporter's phone call, wherein I agreed to give a detailed account of the incident. I basically reiterated from the beginning what I had experienced that day, save the philosophical ramblings about the fragility of human life. I explained what we saw when we first came upon the crash, and what had ultimately led me to stop and try to help. I was careful not to say things that could potentially be exploited in order to sell more newspapers, I told only the plain facts without going into unnecessary detail.

I mentioned in passing, the affect the event had on me and how the most effective way for me to deal with my pain, is to write. I told her I had gotten drunk in order to be honest with myself and true to my emotions, and that I had written a blog entry reflecting that. I never gave the reporter permission to quote my blog entry, or post a link to it. In my mind, it was in very poor taste considering she must have read the entry and should have concluded that including my personal account of the event would be insensitive to the people who were close to the girls.

My personal blog was never meant to be read by anyone beside my close friends. The night after the crash I had no idea who any of the people involved were, and never thought that they would be people who were so incredibly close to me. The morning the National Post contacted me, I learned that 3 of the girls involved were not only friends of many of my mutual friends, but also people who I had met on several occasions. My perception seemed to turn inside out.

Before knowing their identities, I felt a sense of loneliness in all of it. In that moment you feel the purest form of love there is, love of humanity. You realize your ability to love someone regardless of their significance in your own life, you love them because in so many ways they are just like you, and more importantly, so incredibly different and unique in the world.

I wish I could reverse any damage that was caused to others by my vivid recollection of it all. The pain of those memories is for me alone, and I will carry them with me for the rest of my life. They never should have been shared with the close friends and family of the girls who were lost. I only hope that they will remember how they lived, and how happy and beautiful and incredible they were. Emma, Cayley and Joi brought so much good to those around them, and I feel those who had the opportunity to be a part of their lives, are truly truly blessed.

As always, I send all my love to those who have to grieve the loss of Emma Ransom, Cayley Chapman, and Joi Edgar. Three beautiful angels in heaven, and they are guiding you with all of their strength love, and grace.