I need to get my shit together. The past four or five days have been spend ignoring my own plans and instead, getting drunk and being a lazy asshole. In the front of my mind, it's mostly for the enjoyment but I'm sure somewhere it also has something to do with trying to distract from the reality of things at the moment.
Last night I cracked open a 40oz at 2am and proceeded to get absolutely obliterated. Went to get drunk breakfast around 7:30 and somehow I managed to lose my phone. I have no idea where it ended up. I went back to the restaurant and rifled through the garbages trying to find it. I'm pretty positive I left it on the table and one of the crack heads in the restaurant stole it.
I'm pretty upset with myself, I am not usually this careless with my things, even whilst intoxicated. The worst part is that my phone is full of some of my most private mementos. Photos, text messages, videos etc. For the past year or more I had been holding on to text messages from certain people that brought back good memories. Memories of times when I felt wanted and appreciated, such a fleeting feeling for me that I've felt the need to cling to the ones that once existed.
Somehow I think the universe is telling me it's time to really let go.
Be gentle with yourself, Ali.
ReplyDeleteLady Whyte
ReplyDeleteThe universe doesn`t know a damn thing.Never,
ever let go of treasured memories and warm
feelings ; they`re the only things truly worth
hanging onto.Old letters and pictures are simply a physical manifestation of emotion.In
the end, emotion is all we really have, and all we`ll ever remember.When your nerves crackle,and your soul cries, and your blood itches to go.. somewhere....do...something...
these are the moments worth keeping.You know
that feeling don`t you? That feeling of unfulfillable longing; unfocused yet undeniable
need. It` the best and worst of everything.It`s
why people write songs and poems; paint pictures and make movies.It`s an attempt to
convert emotion into something more tangible.
Ever try to explain a dream to someone?
The listener always ends up being uninterested
and unmoved, for they only recieve a description of events; the actual feeling is always left behind.That`s why songs can have
such power; they convert the indescribable to
the describable. Even if almost all the emotion
and colour are lost in translation, sometimes enough can bleed through, and then, finally,someone else can feel what you feel.
Don`t let go Lady Whyte, the universe knows nothing.